A Horror Film & A Cathartic Purge

Making My First Feature Film

I had a moment yesterday where it kicked in — this movie is happening. I have been writing this for a year and I’ve internally had my hand on the escape hatch until now. This is the biggest bet and investment in myself that I have ever taken. Unlike getting into college, this isn’t a one and done where I can hide in the back and do my own thing. Making this film is going to be for the next two years of my life.

I don’t have to make this film and I do.

It wasn’t until recently as I caught up with my close friend where we fall into this putty universe that is open and understanding, and I hear my dreams and fears fall out of my mouth.

Sleep Talking needs to be my first feature not because “horror films sell well,” but because it is this cathartic purge that I need. The films I have planned for after Sleep Talking are dreamier and whimsical — one is even a musical — but I can’t genuinely make those unless I tell this story first.

I need to deal with the reality that, no matter how hard I try, I cannot save everyone. I need to let myself off the hook, especially for when I was 13, that I couldn’t save my dad. Of course, I know this logically, but deep inside it’s still there.

I’m writing a horror film for those like me who try to take care of everyone, who try it have it all under control, and feel like we’re superheroes. We can certainly try, but we will lose ourselves in the process.

That’s what happens to Maya, my 12 year old protagonist, in Sleep Talking. She tries to save everyone from the demon in their family, but it leads to her demise.

I don’t want to try so hard (I say, making a feature film), but truthfully, I want to heal, process, and save myself and hopefully others through making this film.

Thank you for going on this journey with me; it’s not going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it. If you feel connected to this and want to learn more about Sleep Talking, visit our website and sign up for our newsletter.

This piece is for our Moth Monday to celebrate growth and transformation (there’s a moth or two in this movie as well). Follow us on Instagram and Twitter to join us in our Moth Monday, Crew Spotlight Tuesdays, Women Creator Wednesdays, and something for every day of the week related to our film, Sleep Talking.